The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
