how can u be prego again
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
