From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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