My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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