I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
