so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
