In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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