fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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