i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
