Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
