i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize