It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The air taste purple.
Randomize
