Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
