I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
