You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
