they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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