What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
