its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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