I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
