If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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