So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
