Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
