I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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