I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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