I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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