THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you had me at cake vodka
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
