just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
