i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Randomize
