I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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