There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
