i barfeds in our rink
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
