your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize