yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
