You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Farmville is her only friend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
