he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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