Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
