wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
