Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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