I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
