i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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