It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you would pick up someone in the library
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
