We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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