Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
