Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
