This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
