it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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