Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
