You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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