3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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