the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he just fucked me for my cheese.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
