Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The best revenge is premature balding
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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