wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
