i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
