Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
