so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
