i was born a porn star she said
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
