I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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