I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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