my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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