I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
