Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
