he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
