Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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