I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
