Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
