You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize