Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
